Your Strength Can Be Your Downfall: Strengths, Opposites, and Kingdom Impact

Two weeks ago, I wrote about how I was beginning to learn how to listen to others rather than solve their problems.  I do believe that our wiring is intended to inform what we are called to do. In other words, the way God has created us and the experiences he has gone through with us have a significant impact on who he desires us to be and how we are to serve him here on earth and forever.

The Balance Between Strengths and Opposites in Leadership

Any of you who have known me very long appreciate that most of my life has been spent in helping understand how they are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-16).  As they begin to grasp this, they begin to grasp the unique contribution they can make in the Kingdom of God by using these strengths (Ephesians 2.10).  I wished all followers of Christ could grasp how their processing some of life’s most difficult pains builds within them a passion to serve others by what they are learning. 

As much as I believe each of us has a unique, natural, and gifted way about us, there is a dark side to this approach.  The dark side is when we think we only need to serve through our strengths we lose the capacity to exemplify strengths in the opposite direction.  For instance, if I am an extrovert, I only know how to relate to people by living large and talking a lot.  I would suggest that in order to function best in our natural strengths, we also need to be able to function in the opposite direction as it is appropriate or needed. 

How Jesus Exemplified Extreme Strengths

I appreciate that for decades Jesus was portrayed as a passive genteel loving shepherd.  Then is the sixties Jesus was portrayed as an aggressive radical agent out to turn the religious traditions upside down.  Jesus was also portrayed as one willing to do whatever to reach those far from him. At other times he is personified as the consummate teacher changing eternity through his wisdom and wit.  So which of these extremes was he?  He was all the above depending on the verses one chooses from different contexts.  Surely Jesus could vacillate between opposite strengths.

Let me suggest that we all have extreme strengths or superpowers that we need to develop and flourish in.  However, we also need to harness these strengths so that we can also behave in the opposite extreme as necessary. 

The Wisdom of Blaise Pascal on Balance

This corresponding truth was originally penned by the French Mathematician Blaise Pascal:

“I do not admire the excess of a virtue like courage unless I see at the same time an excess of the opposite virtue, as in Epaminondas, who possessed extreme courage and extreme kindness. Otherwise it is not rising to the heights but falling down. We show greatness, not by being at one extreme, but by touching both at once and occupying all the space in between.”

― Blaise Pascal, Pensées

Applying This Balance in Ministry and Leadership

The downside to my focus on working out of your strengths is that one only stands at one extreme...the extreme in which you are naturally gifted.  I strive to work within my strengths, but I also seek to exemplify the opposite as needed with everyone and every topic.  Instead of reacting from one extreme, I seek also to have the capacity to exemplify the opposite trait of my strength.  For this reason, I have had to learn to surround myself with others with opposite extremes (strengths) and serve them as they shine. 

I have also learned to be quiet and listen, ask and not tell, be compassionate instead of driven, and pay attention to details; none of which are natural strengths of mine.

Often in the church, we experience pendulum swings when people only react out of their strengths (extremes) and are not able to embrace the opposite attribute as needed.  We have all witnessed catalytic decisive leaders rocket to success by taking risks and being courageous only to fall from influence, impact, and leadership due to their extremes not being counterbalanced by humility, submission,n and reflective strengths. 

On the other hand, we have seen humble loving shepherds who have refused to stand up and make the tough call that is keeping a church from being healthy and missional due to their strengths not being counterbalanced by decisive, vision, and catalytic leadership. 

I have seen so much damage done by this lack of embracing who we are not naturally wired to be.  Why can’t we stretch out our arms and reach both extremes at the same time rather than being only at one extreme to the other?

Yes, we all have strengths out of which we can and should serve in the Kingdom, but we cannot use this as an excuse for doing the difficult work of developing the skills, habits, and behaviors needed to promote a healthy impact in the Kingdom. It is difficult to operate in the opposite area as our natural strengths, however, I would advocate this for a long-term strategy of effectiveness.  As Blaise Pascal reminds us, greatness is the ability to touch both extremes and fill all that is in between as needed.

A Final Thought to Consider:

My passion has always been to guide leaders toward health and impactful living. Through blogging, creating assessments, debriefing, and developing leaders, I’ve pursued this calling with unwavering commitment. And I plan to continue—retirement isn’t in my vocabulary when it comes to a God-given mission.

As a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, Healthy Growing Leaders is also focused on creating a sustainable future that doesn’t solely depend on me. Many of our supporters have urged us to ensure that our tools and services endure well beyond my leadership. To that end, we’re working to raise $100,000 by the end of the year. This funding will help HGL remain scalable and sustainable, allowing us to serve leaders—especially those who lack the resources to fully fund our services.

Over the past three years of writing this blog, I’ve never asked for support. But this is a pivotal moment for HGL, and I care deeply enough about its future to ask now. If you’re able, please consider helping us reach this goal. Whether through prayer, sharing our mission, or giving directly, your support means the world.

To learn more or contribute, visit our giving page.

Thank you for considering this opportunity to invest in a future of healthy, impactful leaders.